Poetic License Horoscopes for March 30 – April 5

By Jane Cassady:

Aries (March 21-April 18): Two hours of Mad Men might be too long—the stars are having trouble paying attention. Maybe next week will be better. Meanwhile, watch sitcoms and don’t think about snazzy advertising cads.

Taurus (April 19-May 18): Take on a new assignment, and if none are offered, make one up. Any brand new project will do. Follow it wherever it wants you to go.

Gemini (May 19-June 21): Team Peeta or Team Gale? Are you kidding me with this? Why in the world should she have to choose? Even in the dystopian future, is jealousy really still such a big deal? C’mon guys, get over it. Learn to share.

Cancer (June 22-July 23): A friend of mine is always having adventures that are just a little riskier than mine. I like my hijinx cozy and friendly, but hers are always a bit more of a leap. I think it’s okay to choose coziness, though. Either way, Cancer, make sure you’re adventurous this week.

Leo (July 24- Aug. 23): To my wife, who’ll be exploring Washington, DC while I am at Momentum Con this weekend—I hope you find some treasures that inspire you, whether it’s the original ruby slippers, your beloved Constitution, or even Julie Powell’s stick of butter on the old Julia Child set. Find your own history.

Virgo (Aug. 24-Sept. 23):  “What body would not want to surrender its tension to a skilled hand?” (Hafiz) There will be time for that, but for now, get back to yourself. Enjoy other fun. Remember how to steer yourself before you hand over the wheel again.

Libra (Sept. 24-Oct. 21): To the Libra friend I alienated last April: I looked at the pictures recently. I don’t see any of the bitterness or mistakes, just sweetness. If there were any way to get back to that, I’d take it.

Scorpio (Oct. 22-Nov. 22): To the Scorpio second-guessing my Scrabble word choices: Well, I’ve deferred to your judgment before, and that worked out okay. What other help would you like to offer me?

Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec 22): The stars recently went to Eastern State Penitentiary on a first date, but it’s really more of a third date kind of place. You’ll be glad to know that Steve Buscemi narrates the audio tour. Meditate on enclosures, ruins, refurbishment, and The Panopticon this week. Find your regrets and lock them up.

Capricorn (Dec. 23-Jan. 20): For the month of April, many of my poet friends will be writing and posting a poem a day. I’m not sure if I’ll join in, as I’m feeling prosaic these days, but let’s try to find a project as urgent and sublime.

Aquarius (Jan 21-Feb. 19): See Gemini. Also: continued blessings to Spring love. 

Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20): To my Pisces pal with a hurt foot: I guess I’ll have to stop telling you about walks to go on. Here’s hoping you have good books, warm cats, and snuggly friends to help you recover. If I were nearby, I’d bring you some hugs.

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