Poetic License Horoscopes for May 25 – 31
By Jane Cassady (You can pre-order For the Comfort of Automated Phrases on May 31!):
Gemini (May 19-June 21): After having four kids, my sister had her tubes tied. She always said she wouldn’t be surprised if her operation was one of the .5 percent that didn’t work. Turns out, she was still pretty surprised (but overjoyed). Get ready for blessing as lavish and shocking as hers.
Cancer (June 22-July 23): On last week’s Girls, Hannah took a trip home and caught a glimpse of what life in her hometown would’ve been like if she’d stayed. For one thing, guys there don’t talk dirty enough. Take a moment to appreciate the many and varied benefits of how far you’ve traveled.
Leo (July 24-Aug. 23): Whatever new hobby you’re working on, you’re about to be moved up from the beginner class to the intermediate level. Give yourself a hug, a gold star, a butterscotch sundae and a backrub. You deserve every reward.
Virgo (Aug. 24-Sept. 23): You keep dreaming of people you’ve lost, reuniting, taking their hands, visiting for Christmas. Whatever is missing is drifting towards you like a misty ex in a dream. Take his hand and go forward.
Libra (Sept. 24-Oct. 21): (Kind of a meta-scope) Looking at the horoscopes from last year is kind of melancholy—I was in love with a Libra who’s long gone. I’m glad that at least there’s art to preserve temporary love, make it a little bit permanent.
Scorpio (Oct. 22-Nov. 22): My therapist says it is possible to learn not to cry for hours about the everyday insensitivities that are part of life. If I learn this, I will have all kinds of extra time. I think I will use it for snuggling.
Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 22): Break up with “Whatever You Like” by T.I. and start going out with “So Good” by B.O.B. Always choose the song in when the Shorty gets more choices.
Capricorn (Dec. 23-Jan. 20): In the classroom I am observing, students are trying to show that they are “ready for second grade.” If they prove they are, they get a badge to wear around all day. You’ve earned your “Ready for whatever comes next” badge. Wear it proudly.
Aquarius (Jan. 21-Feb. 19): Sometimes you have to hunker down and be a grown up. Other times (like this week) you should do the opposite. Throw a tantrum, play hooky, stay home and read a novel under the covers. You’ve earned it by being so good the rest of the time.
Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20): To the Pisces turning her guest room into a studio: good for you. I’ll gladly take the air mattress so that you can have space to make bird-print pillows, write poems, or stare dreamily out the window. Can’t wait to see what you’ll come up with.
Aries (March 21-April 18): My favorite episodes of Mad Med are the ones where Don hangs out with women as friends. Put on your old-timey hat and go get drunk with a gorgeous Joan-esque buddy. But unlike don, take a cab home.
Taurus (April 19-May 18): I had a dream about you. We were visiting you for Christmas. I took your hand and introduced you to every single person in my whole family. You were waiting by the computer to hear back about a very special opportunity. Good luck!
Poetic License Horoscopes for May 18 – 24
By Jane Cassady (If you love Poetic License Horoscopes, you’ll REALLY love For the Comfort of Automated Phrases, Jane’s debut collection of poetry. It’s coming in July. Pre-order it starting June 1!):
Taurus (April 19-May 18): If there’s someplace you can go where everybody’s pretty and special and fun, go to there. You’ll fit right in and find exactly what you need!
Gemini (May 19-June 21): Last weekend, we spent a fair number of hours playing Wii Jeopardy with my family, and here’s what I think: It’s much more enjoyable on the easy setting. Alex Trebek is less fun without the mustache. My Mii is due for a makeover. The answers are less like questions every day. (Confidential to K.C:YAAAAAAAY!)
Cancer (June 22-July 23): Next time it rains, play hooky and catch up on your pleasure reading. Take one or several naps—you need to catch up on your dreaming to defragment your subconscious and start anew.
Leo (July 24-Aug. 23): “Take my love, take my land/ Take me where I cannot stand/ I don’t care, I’m still free/ You can’t take the sky from me.” (Firefly theme song) It’s a good time for a rewatch, isn’t it, dear?
Virgo (Aug. 24-Sept. 23): Give gifts to your inner teenager. Write her letters to tell her she is worthy and pretty. Indulge in the power-ballads of the Nineties. To paraphrase Motley Crue, you’re on your way, you’re on your wa-aa-ay, home sweet home.
Libra (Sept. 24-Oct. 21): I like when I ask for request and people write entire predictions for me! Guest Libra Sam Richman says: “Your primal urges are pulling you into the forest and onto the dance floor. Keep listening to your body – there is ancient, inherited wisdom in it. Libras are all about heart, and the heart is often associated with sweetness & sensitivity, but it is also a muscular organ, and yours grows stronger every day.”
Scorpio (Oct. 22-Nov. 22): It’s okay to crowd-source inspiration of you’re all out—ask your friends, both virtual and IRL, to send you love songs, attention, strength. They are sure to send exactly what you need.
Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 22): The answer to “Should I just go to sleep?” is usually “yes.” Go head, go to bed at 7:30 if you want to, you’ll wake up feeling like it’s a holiday.
Capricorn (Dec. 23-Jan. 20): Try someplace new. Take your book and a notebook. Write something or nothing. Read the bulletin board or stare into space. Strike up a conversation with a stranger and find out all of his or her adventures.
Aquarius (Jan. 21-Feb. 19): Your keyword for the week is “open.” Open your heart. Open the window and smell the rain. Open a book and don’t close it again til morning. Open your plans up for something new.
Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20): “We are not what they think we are, we are golden, we are golden.” (MIKA) This week, MIKA is your spirit animal—be more like him, a silly, happy, lollipop dream.
Aries (March 21-April 18): “At some point one’s prayers will become/ so powerful that they ca shake a full tree/ in an orchard in heaven and fruit will roll/ through the streets in this world.” (Hafiz)
Poetic License Horoscopes for May 11 – 17
By Jane Cassady (For the Comfort of Automated Phrases is coming in July!):
Taurus (April 19-May 18): It’s okay to keep consoling yourself for what you’ve lost. It still aches, that’s okay, because it’s important. You are going to get exponential goodwill in return, runaway growth.
Gemini (May 19-June 21): Rewrite your past so that you have everything you’ve ever needed, so that you were always treated like a precious jewel every minute, no one ever let you be unsafe. I think you’ll find yourself missing what you’ve learned from all the crimps and deficiencies—these are their own weird luxury.
Cancer (June 22-July 23): “I wanna thank you, for letting me, be myself again.” (Sly and the Family Stone) the encouragement you give out will have such a huge effect, you may never know. Write letters to buoy up your friends’ spirit–it will always work.
Leo (July 24-Aug. 23): My wife watches Sherlock, so I asked her what we could learn from Benedict Cumberbatch. She said “Everything you need to know is almost right in front of you.” Okay—open your eyes to the clues.
Virgo (Aug. 24-Sept. 23): On last week’s Mad Men, Megan left the agency to follow her dream of being an actress; It’s the same for you, except you don’t have to quit anything. Just follow the path you’re on now, glide along your trajectory—it’s that easy.
Libra (Sept. 24-Oct. 21): If you take a nice walk with a friend and see a bird you’ve never seen before, (say, for instance, a hermit thrush) take that as a sign that there are so many new, pretty little things ready to hop into your life, to show you their plumage. It’s okay to let them.
Scorpio (Oct. 22-Nov. 22): Make time for yourself, and make it special. Take yourself on dates to the fanciest restaurants, the grandest museums. Buy yourself flowers and chocolate pianos. Make yourself a mixtape as only you know how. Be the great love of your life, and you are sure to get lucky.
Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 22): Should you find yourself laughing or in tears or ecstatic at an inopportune moment, settle into it. Go ahead and be inappropriate—sometimes emotion trumps everything.
Capricorn (Dec. 23-Jan. 20): I’ve been married almost nine years and I recently found out that my wife has a talent for rope bondage. Life is magical like that—everyone’s full of riches and secrets and mischief. Enjoy.
Aquarius (Jan. 21-Feb. 19): Don’t get Pretty Friend Syndrome. It isn’t always your friend’s job to be the belle of the ball—sometimes it’s you. Take your newfound confidence and use it to make genuine connections, to make a new life for yourself.
Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20): Be like Leslie Knope going after her doofus opponent in the city council debate. Let your passions speak for you, there is absolutely no reason to hold them back.
Aries (March 21-April 18): To the Aries in a long-distance love affair—it’s worth it, isn’t it? How much love can be contained in a text? What kind of hot strange sex can you have over Skype? Right now you are both buzzing with potential, let it be so much.
From Stephen S. Mills:
I write in silence. No music. No television. No other people in my apartment. I can’t take the distraction and my mind is often going so fast that it takes all my concentration to keep my fingers typing out the words or writing out the words. That’s not to say music doesn’t influence my work.
When I was asked to write a soundtrack to my first book of poems, He Do the Gay Man in Different Voices, I was excited, but I also felt a lot of pressure. I’ve always loved music, but I’ve never felt confident in my musical tastes. I’m not someone who knows all the hip indie stuff or the person that listens to music that is really “artistic,” but sounds like shit. Let’s just say, I never really argue with people too much about music (unless it’s about my deep loathing of Katy Perry). I leave the great musical debates to others. I do, however, argue with great intensity over my amazing taste in movies, television shows, and books.
The songs I selected range a bit in style and sound, but all capture something about my book. My book deals a lot with sex and violence, but also how love fits into both of these. The people in my poems are brave, yet fearful of the dangers of our modern world. Who is the next victim? Who or what is the killer? Will we survive?
Some songs were easy to pick. For example, Scissor Sisters has a song called “Sex and Violence” and they are one of my favorite bands. Ben Folds was another easy pick. He’s greatly influenced me from the time I was a young teenager sitting alone in my room listening to him over and over again. His song “Best Imitation of Myself” was written when he felt he had finally stopped imitating others and found his own style, which is what my first book is showcasing. These are my poems and no one else’s.
The theme song to True Blood, “Bad Things,” also quickly made the list. It really is a good representation of the book (except there are no vampires in my book). I really should find a way to work Eric and Alcide into a poem or into my bed (which would then lead to a poem).
Others songs represent the sex and even the fun in the book. During the three years I wrote these poems, I spent a lot of time in gay clubs dancing to Rihanna, Ke$ha, and Lady Gaga (all of which appear on this soundtrack). Rihanna’s “S&M” very much fits the content of the book, but I also put it on here because my friend Mark has deemed it my theme song (plus it is my initials). Ke$sha’s “Cannibal” mentions Jeffrey Dahmer, who is a centerpiece of the book, so of course it made the cut (pun intended).
I closed the soundtrack with Nina Simone’s “Feeling Good.” This is one of my favorite songs and it felt like a fitting end. My book is full of tragedy, death, horrible accidents, hate crimes, and murders, but there is also a sense of hope and the idea that we must celebrate the time we have.
In the end, this soundtrack gives you a taste of my poems and a glimpse into me as a writer and a listener.
- “Best Imitation of Myself” by Ben Folds Five
- “Bad Things” by Jace Everett
- “Gonna’ Make You Love Me More” by Ryan Adams
- “S&M” by Rihanna
- “American Triangle” by Elton John
- “Back to Black” by Amy Winehouse
- “Home” by Jay Brannan
- “Going To A Town” by Rufus Wainwright
- “Cannibal” by Ke$ha
- “Sex and Violence” by Scissor Sisters
- “Gimme a Sign” by Ryan Adams
- “Criminal” by Fiona Apple
- “Government Hooker” by Lady Gaga
- “Feeling Good” by Nina Simone
PURCHASE HE DO THE GAY MAN IN DIFFERENT VOICES.
The Voice Behind Voices
Recently, we asked Theresa Senato Edwards why she wrote Voices Through Skin:
I’ve had OCD since I was about four years old, maybe younger, but I’m not sure. I didn’t know what I had until I was 26 and watched a 60 minutes episode that really can be credited with introducing the disorder to the world. I was one of many people who realized because of that show that I had OCD. When I wrote the book, I funneled some of my symptoms into the poems, some of the rituals (“Her Rituals”), the worries of absurd things (“Homesick”), the counting (“Back Seat”), the repetitions (“The Touch of the Notch”), and the fears (“Joanie Bach”). Voices Through Skin also shares a child’s confusion with her gender (“Bending” and “Closet”), among other confusions; other disorders as seen in poems like “Lady,” “The Smell of Alcohol,” “Voices in Dad’s Chest,” “On Your Back,” and “His Profile.” With Voices Through Skin, I hope to reach anyone who has OCD or any similar disorder in which they constantly question their thoughts or actions.
Voices Through Skin is available in both print and as an eBook.
SRP in ATLANTA
No H8. Anywhere.
Please read this poem by our friend Daniel Nathan Terry – and if you know someone in North Carolina, please urge them to vote AGAINST NC AMENDMENT ONE.
Poetic License Horoscopes for May 4 – 10
By Jane Cassady:
Taurus (April 19-May 18): To the Taurus waking up in a transformed body: good morning and congratulations. I’ve always said you are a genius at creating yourself, this is just more evidence. So much love, so many wishes, and millions of gentle hugs.
Gemini (May 19-June 21): To my brother, who wants to try rock climbing and maybe skydiving someday: I can’t wait to not do that, but if you do, listen closely to the safety lectures. Get hold of the right kinds of carabiners. Hold on tight and do not break yourself.
Cancer (June 22-July 23): A few weeks ago at the Momentum conference, I went to a talk called “Spread Your Legs and Open Your Heart.” The leader prescribed drawing a hot bath for nine nights in a row and running a leaf or stone over your whole body. At first I balked at the first-world-adviceness of all those baths, but go ahead and try it.
Leo (July 24- Aug. 23): No matter how long you’ve known someone, they always still have more secret skills and new surprises. Let someone expand for you, you’ll be gratified for what you get.
Virgo (Aug. 24-Sept. 23): Take whatever chance you can to shout down old bulies, old heartbreaks, or both. Write as many strongly worded letters as it takes. Just when you think you might dissolve from anger, your heart will give in and open up.
Libra (Sept. 24-Oct. 21): Whenever you’re around, people are smiling. You don’t have to try to be pleasing or work very hard at all, just stand there next to them. And sometimes, let them give something back.
Scorpio (Oct. 22-Nov. 22): “It’s good if something gnaws at your innards until you come to terms with your real potential.” (Hafiz) It also helps if you gnaw back.
Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec 22): In last week’s Mad Men episode, Don tried to make Sally stay innocent by making her take off her makeup and go-go boots, but she learned a whole bunch about the world anyway. Don’t try to protect yourself so much, it’s okay.
Capricorn (Dec. 23-Jan. 20): The world is kind of a harsh place sometimes, it’s okay to fight it. Put on blankets, a blindfold, earplugs, and build yourself someplace safe. Cocoon there until you feel better.
Aquarius (Jan 21-Feb. 19): Make a list of all of your wishes again. I know I make you do this all the time, but it’s important. Each time you make your list, the wishes are clearer and brighter, and so are you!
Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20): Should you find yourself in the Duchamp room at the Philadelphia Museum of Art, take a little time to think about the body as a creativity machine that runs on sex, or something like that.
Aries (March 21-April 18): Every so often I have to say, I miss you and I wish you’d call. We were novices together and now we are a little less so. I still need you to send me merit badges for progress, still need to cheer on your every step.
Poetic License Horoscopes for April 27 – May 3
By Jane Cassady:
Taurus (April 19-May 18): Sometimes help comes from the most unlikely places—people you may have underestimated, recurring fortune cookie slips, episodes of sitcoms. Go ahead and let it all help you, it’s okay.
Gemini (May 19-June 21): When you are Sally Draper, you’ll accept advice from just about anyone, even your creepy pill-popping step-grandmother. Lucky for you, you are not Sally Draper. Feel free to rely only on reliable voices.
Cancer (June 22-July 23): “I don’t know why/ there is an ocean/ in my chest or how/ I am supposed to/ carry it/ without spilling it out/ all over the place.” (Daniel McGinn) Dear friend, I think there’s some advice here about tides.
Leo (July 24- Aug. 23): When you are owed an apology, learn not to comfort the apologizer. Likewise, learn to accept (not argue with) compliments. There’s nothing you need to do to improve yourself right now. No steps need to be taken.
Virgo (Aug. 24-Sept. 23): “So take what you can from your experiences of heartbreak, yes. But be careful not to take too much, or you’ll wind up letting it define you. Don’t create new generalized fears that make it hard to hear your intuition—and hard to find the love you want and deserve.” (Jaclyn Friedman, What You Really, Really Want)
Libra (Sept. 24-Oct. 21): You are so kind that you’ll comfort a friend even when your troubles are much deeper. You’re a generous angel like that, thanks!
Scorpio (Oct. 22-Nov. 22): It’s time to think about clothing optional beaches! Even if you’re not as much of an exhibitionist as the stars are, think of other sunny ways to safely bare yourself. And don’t forget the sunscreen!
Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec 22): Find someone you love and turn off the television with him or her. Don’t worry, the stars still looooove the television, we just think maybe you should see what else you might use that couch for.
Capricorn (Dec. 23-Jan. 20): Yesterday I was watching a rerun of How I Met Your Mother wherein Ted saves a man’s life by being an “I love you” slut. He says it to a man who’d been about to commit suicide, and it turns the guy’s life around. You may not achieve such dramatic results, but be an “I love you” slut anyway.
Aquarius (Jan 21-Feb. 19): Everyone you touch has a million layers. You’ve long since given up the idea that a human being can be a simple distraction, a vacation from your own life. Settle into the layers and make a mess.
Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20): Find someone to be a beginner with, it’s such a comfort. Get yourself some good awkward, some nice fumbling, and settle into it like blankets.
Aries (March 21-April 18): The Zone of Proximal Development is an educational concept that means the space between something being too easy to be challenging and being too frustrating to learn. Find your own Zone of Proximal Development. Go ahead, open your eyes and soak up knowledge.
Poetic License Horoscopes for April 20 – 26
By Jane Cassady:
Taurus (April 19-May 18): Stop. Take note of everything you’ve learned so far. Take a deep breath and a few days to let it all sink in. You’ve come so far.
Gemini (May 19-June 21): “Be vulnerable and ask for your desires. There are only two ways it can go…and never asking ensures only one.” (Aiden Fyre) Sometimes, though, you don’t know what to ask for until it feels too late. That’s okay, you’ll know what to ask for next time!
Cancer (June 22-July 23): May your National Poetry Month continue to be prolific—mine your inner wishes, your big leaky mansion of a heart, your pesky childhood. Use everything that isn’t nailed down, then pry up that stuff too.
Leo (July 24- Aug. 23): As much as you might like to avoid logical fallacies, sometimes they are too tempting. Likewise for hyperbole and over-generalizations. Just let ‘em go this week. Indulge.
Virgo (Aug. 24-Sept. 23): “My heart is a worthy vessel. It carries riches from my living adventures. It carries room enough for other riches to be gathered.” (Julia Cameron) You may be tempted to curl up into a ball, wrap yourself in a blanket, and hide, but there are so many more treasures to be had. Go get them.
Libra (Sept. 24-Oct. 21): I’m still sending you visions of rest: pillow mountains floating with dreamy feathers. Soundproof rooms made of flannel and chocolate. Meadows of sugar butterflies, a sweet and hopeful peace.
Scorpio (Oct. 22-Nov. 22): You are such a good sport, keep it up. Your loyalty, open-mindedness, and flexibility will keep paying off in unexpected ways.
Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec 22): Make the world a safe place. You can do this by consistently honoring your boundaries, treating people kindly but not at your own expense, and finding out just exactly what it is you want.
Capricorn (Dec. 23-Jan. 20): There’s such a thing as too many vitamins. This week, minimize the number of ways in which you try to be virtuous for its own sake—that’s a total waste of energy.
Aquarius (Jan 21-Feb. 19): To the Aquarius who ended up being my crash course: Thank you. It’s unfortunate that painful lessons often come by way of people I adore. Thank you for making that sacrifice. You are more than kind. (Confidential to H and H: a job, a home, and every other wish are on the way. Just keep trying. XO, The Stars)
Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20): Believe all of the best stories about yourself. Take the best possible interpretation of any given comment. That’s probably what they really meant!
Aries (March 21-April 18): You have so much to look forward to: lilacs, wisteria, long walks in the spring woods. You’re like the smell of the air when the leaves come in.
