Poetic License Horoscopes for August 19-25

SRP welcomes Jane Cassady, who was selected as one of our four open-submission period writers for publication in 2012 (along with Virginia Bell, Matthew Hittinger, and Brad Richard). In addition to sending in a very enjoyable mix CD with her SRP contract (and getting The Sundays’ version of “Wild Horses stuck in our heads), she’s also volunteered to entertain our audience with “Poetic License Horoscopes,” which will appear regularly on our blog.  And here’s a poetic prediction that is likely to come true: you’re gonna love Jane’s For the Comfort of Automated Phrases. Look for it next summer.

Leo (July 24-Aug. 23): It’s a nice rainy day with nothing to do, so take advantage of it: perfect your snuggling, read a nice pop culture novel, enjoy hours of napping and drooling on your sweetheart’s arm or on your own sweet pillow. Bonus points if a cat falls asleep on you.

Virgo (Aug. 24-Sept. 23): If there’s something glitchy in your brain, telling you your projects will never be finished and that the end of a hard work week will never come, remember—fruition is coming like a carnival themed birthday party in a polyamorous house. Get out your tiara and be ready to wear it and dance.

Libra (Sept. 24-Oct. 21): If the webs of connection are getting too much, even for the merely constellation-adjacent, or the bank book is haunting you, or rooms full of people make you fizz with anxiety, just remember your limits. Slow down, dear, and talk to just one person at a time, maybe to someone with a little twinkle of religion, if you like that sort of thing.

Scorpio (Oct. 22-Nov. 22): You’d be surprised by how much pressure a few tears would relieve—let down your guard, admit something you’ve put off admitting, then wipe your pretty eyes, blow your nose, and go on to your next adventure.

Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 22): To the nice Sagittarius worried over the mean girl activities at work, here is your mantra: “I. Am. Not. In. High school.” Repeat this again and again to yourself, and remember you are grown and safe.

Capricorn (Dec. 23-Jan. 20): If you quiet your brain a moment, hiking plans will bubble up, or math problem solutions, or a conclusion to the academic paper you’ve been struggling with. All you have to do is stop for a minute.

Aquarius (Jan. 21-Feb. 19): I have this theory that the entire Weeds series is about the perils of avoiding grief. Nancy embarks on her path of danger as a way to squelch her feelings, and this is very interesting in a TV series, but not so good in real life. Feel the grief or undo the loss, and watch that no innocent bystanders are harmed.

Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20): “I am that great and fiery force sparking in everything that lives.” (Hildegard of Bingen) Everyone knows what’s behind your shining face. They remember you better than their two-letter Scrabble words, or all the dialogue fromStand By Me, or the words to their favorite teenage radio hits. You are loved and memorized, my friend.

Aries (March 21-April 18): Though rehearsing this song at summer camp might make me hate it forever, I know you like it, so here: “Like a comet pulled from orbit/ As it passes a sun/ Like a stream that meets a boulder/Halfway through the wood…Because I knew you/ I have been changed for good.” (From Wicked.) I hope this song will someday be out of my head, but you can stay there.

Taurus (April 19-May 18): It’s okay to live in a postcard sometimes, or even in a romance novel, or in the illustration on a box of herbal tea. You are safe and happy, bright as sunsets, easy as waves.

Gemini (May 19-June 21): You have everything you need for fall: nice friends, a new school-year calendar, visits from poets planned. Pack up your summer sunbeams and beach fantasies and get ready for some practical fun.

Cancer (June 22-July 23): You’re writing EVERYTHING these days, long scarves of poetry that blesses ears all over the place, filling us with cotton warmth and candy heartbeats, We’re thrumming to your lists of questions, adding our own, and waiting patiently to hear more.


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