Poetic License Horoscopes for September 16 – 22

Lovingly written by forthcoming SRP author,  Jane Cassady:

Virgo (Aug. 24-Sept. 23): You are rich with epiphanies and new songs. Turn the epiphanies into resolutions and follow them. Turn the songs into mixes, place them in headphones, and walk fast.

Libra (Sept. 24-Oct. 21): “Now, as you breathe in, say to yourself, “I have arrived.” and as you breathe out, “I am home.” (Laura Randall)

Scorpio (Oct. 22-Nov. 22): You may find your inbox full of offers. Say yes to most of them, especially the party invitations, no matter whose. Show up with wine and flowers for the host and/or hostess. Go ahead and celebrate.

Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 22): Things might be coming apart a little bit, might have to be restructured, but meditate as always on Tetris, all those neat little blocks falling into place—you know how to flip and direct them. You’ll claim the high score.

Capricorn (Dec. 23-Jan. 20): I miss you. Let’s take a walk with your cherub-kids in the Upstate sunset, through the long trees of you neighborhood. Let’s watch internet memes on your big screen TV. Let’s make a cake for each one of your antique cake stands, and have a tasting.

Aquarius (Jan. 21-Feb. 19): Congratulations, you’ve helped save the day. Thank you for your quick action and steady voice, your plucky determination and ready suggestions of music. Reward yourself with magazines and rest.

Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20): To the Pisces whose book is coming out—oh, all the lucky readers, ready to know the periodic table of your heart, your footnoted fantasies, your beatific face. Everyone is so very ready to love you.

Aries (March 21-April 18): To the Aries starting a new job this week—you are as generous as the sun, stronger than floods, more lovable than mixtapes. Every reward is deserved, every step forward is lit up ahead of you, and not just by stars.

Taurus (April 19-May 18): Your songs still shuffle in when the stars need strength or to just chill out a little. We appreciate your steadying influence, and we’ll take more songs any time.

Gemini (May 19-June 21): To the Gemini who sent me a rude text yesterday: that’s no way to talk to the stars! Luckily, the same day, my telephone also received good luck wishes, good news, friend-love, and, for some reason, a picture of a goat. Those are the texts I’ll choose to remember.

Cancer (June 22-July 23): To the Cancer who likes jumping around to gypsy punk music: keep dancing. The stars don’t see the appeal, but we’re glad it makes you happy. You can dance around until all the loose ends in your life are tied up with pretty ribbons.

Leo (July 24-Aug. 23): Oh Leo, with your authoritative voice and your lists of perfectly reasonable demands, thank you. We need you to be our voice of reason, our steady heart, our warm sleep through so many instances of the snooze alarm.

1 Comment

  1. I used to read my horoscope everyday when I was younger! Even though it couldn’t be real, it was always so much fun – especially if it matched up with your current situations in life, or if your closest friends signs were said to get along with your signs.

    Scorpio! ^_^

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