Poetic License Horoscopes for December 30 – January 5

By Jane Cassady:

Capricorn (Dec. 23-Jan. 20): If possible, throw a penny in the fountain in front of Cezanne’s Large Bathers in the Philadelphia Museum of Art. Make a wish about the way light hits things. Study the blues and darks and shimmers. If you are not in Philadelphia, any fountain will do.

Aquarius (Jan. 21-Feb. 19): “Without deviation, progress is not possible.” (Frank Zappa) Study the little ways to change the path this year, Aquarius, and celebrate the ways in which your pretty deviations have already been so fruitful.

Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20): This year will bring you almost everything you need if you do the following: Get lots of sleep. Take a long time to cook supper sometimes. Go on ridiculously long walks. Confide in ones who deserve it. Write things down.

Aries (March 21-April 18): To my dad, who is a standup comedian but also on a on a day-job hunt: everything is coming to you, jokes and money, free time and slots in famous lineups. Remember the time you fist-bumped Richard Lewis? It’ll be like that.

Taurus (April 19-May 18): “Hand in hand is the only way to land, always the right way round.” (The Cure, Love Cats) Should you find yourself next to someone who needs more trust-falls than resolutions, be sure to catch her.

Gemini (May 19-June 21): “More Nellie, less Laura.” (Jean Gray, The Blame Game) It isn’t so much that you have to take up the habits of (as Alison Arngrim calls her character) a prairie bitch, but this year it’s okay to stick your little nose in the air at anyone who really deserves it, even if you’re a sweet little half-pint at heart.

Cancer (June 22-July 23): “In the bleak midwinter, frosty wind made moan, / Earth stood hard as iron, water like a stone; / Snow had fallen, snow on snow, snow on snow, / In the bleak midwinter, long ago.” (Christina Rossetti) Inside you, it’s the opposite of that, so go ahead and make more warmth.

Leo (July 24-Aug. 23): May you spend the new year snuggling, watching and rewatching beloved series’, and listening to your wife complain just a little less. You will find the perfect job, use your perfect design skills, and hit the snooze alarm for snuggling more times than you can count.

Virgo (Aug. 24-Sept. 23):  “Give us the spirit of the child, who is not afraid to need; who is not afraid of love.” (Sara Moores Campbell) This year, you’ve made great strides in trust, so if you’re still nursing wounds from that risk, wear them proudly and then let them go.

Libra (Sept 24-Oct 21): “The true artist helps the world by revealing mystic truths.” (Bruce Nauman) I’ve lost count to how many times the stars have told you to paint, or make stuff in whatever way you like, but really, is there ever any better advice?

Scorpio (Oct. 22-Nov. 22):  May the new year find you happy and snuggled on the couch, forgetting whatever has been or will be lost. At the moment, just go ahead and have everything.

Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 22): “Sometimes even frogs have rainy days.” (Kermit, Pictures in my Head)  If you want to, you can indulge in a little bit of year-end melancholy, because so much happiness is coming for you in 2012, you won’t even know what to do with it.

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