Poetic License Horoscopes for February 3 – 9

By Jane Cassady:

Aquarius (Jan 21-Feb. 19): “Any time will do.” (TV on the Radio) No matter how much your logistics change, your self and your calendar will remain intact. You will still have time for emphatic snuggles, parties, and many, many episodes of that sci fi series you like.

Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20): Whenever I ask people what they’d like the stars to predict for them, they almost always ask for a reduction of stress. I wish I could give each of them a hug, a cupcake, and some indulgent magazines, tuck them into a duvet and cover them in kittens. Do a little bit of that for yourself this week, and send me a picture.

Aries (March 21-April 18): I you think you’ve got to choose between love and rest, there’s no need. Invite a snuggle pal over, tuck yourselves into bed and turn on an episode of Radiolab. It’ll give you the most angelic sleep, and you can always go back and listen later.

Taurus (April 19-May 18): See Pisces.

Gemini (May 19-June 21): If you didn’t feel too inspired back when the year started, consider this another chance at a fresh start. Groundhog Day resolutions may seem inauspicious, but it’s never too late to try again. And again. And again.

Cancer (June 22-July 23): This week, write love letters to all of your favorite inanimate objects. Tell the toaster how accurately it warms your crusts. Tell the coffeemaker that you love waking up to its face. Tell the TV you’ll never forsake it, then maybe go outside.

Leo (July 24- Aug 23): This morning I found a helpful list of knots in my inbox: Somerville, Bowline, Alpine Butterfly, Square Knot, Half Hitch, Overhand Knot, Lark’s Head, and St Josephine. I’m passing this list on to you because I’m sure you’ll know what to do with it better than I do.

Virgo (Aug. 24-Sept. 23): Though common sense advice will always point your heart towards openness, it’s okay if it’s taking you a while to get there. You have all the time in the world for aesthetically pleasing trust falls. Take a break and learn to trust yourself.

Libra (Sept. 24-Oct. 21): Congratulations! You have everything you need.

Scorpio (Oct. 22-Nov. 22): I just wanted to tell you that a pal of mine built a model of Fallingwater out of Legos. This may inspire you meditate on nature, playfulness, and unity, or it might just be really neat.

Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec 22):  It’s tempting sometimes to catalog your mistakes, to weave them into a necklace, but don’t. Instead, please bless and thank every detour and see what miracles await.

Capricorn (Dec. 23-Jan. 20): Make a list of all your scattered friends and call them. Build shadowboxes out of the details of their lives that keep becoming new. Hang their memories in your kitchen for company, and spend some time in there making some soup.

Photo by Rob Bender


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