By Jane Cassady:
Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20): “My mother was of the sky. My father was of the earth. And I am of the universe, and you know what it’s worth.” (The Beatles) If you happen to be lonely this week or just a little off, don’t worry. There’s probably a lake or a river nearby, some bright clouds to look at. Be sure and wear a warm hat, the stars do worry.
Aries (March 21-April 18): Last weekend, my wife and I went to see Portlandia Live! One of the things they showed us was a slide of a birthday card that Carrie had made for her mother when she was little. It was signed, “Your famous daughter, Carrie Brownstein.” This week, have a child’s amount of faith in yourself.
Taurus (April 19-May 18): The stars would like to thank every Jungian character who ever wandered into our life and helped us see our shadow selves. It is perfectly acceptable to fall in love with your very worst fears, as long as you remember to break up eventually.
Gemini (May 19-June 21): This week, take one negative belief about yourself and rewrite it as a compliment. If everybody says you’re too sensitive, call it perceptive. If they’ve called you flighty, thank your imagination. If you’ve heard before that you’re too emotional, hug yourself and call it sincere.
Cancer (June 22-July 23): The stars love those books wherein the author does something special for a year and then writes about it. Think of a year-long adventure for yourself, even if it’s just a small one. Record your efforts in writing, in mirror-fog, or on the tops of cakes. Celebrate everything you learn.
Leo (July 24- Aug. 23): At the beginning of the week, our beloved car was broken into, the passenger-side window was smashed and there was glass everywhere. My wife was heartbroken and I wanted to kill whoever did it, but I couldn’t help but be selfishly happy that she’d have to be home for the day. Don’t wait for things to get broken, though, just make a little time to stop.
Virgo (Aug. 24-Sept. 23): Okay, so you live in your head a lot, Virgo, but it’s time to take your body on some adventures. That can mean sex, or nature walks, or learning new recipes, or some nifty combination of all three. Get lots of real treats.
Libra (Sept. 24-Oct. 21): This week it’s time to bring some of your photographs into the physical realm. Print them out or order prints. Make a scrapbook, or bulletin board, or a wall of friends like teenage girls sometimes do. You’ll be amazed by the cheer of sudden company.
Scorpio (Oct. 22-Nov. 22): “Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.” (Semisonic) If you’ve had to let something go lately, don’t despair. It only means that something better, prettier, shinier is on its way. Don’t change a thing, just go ahead and start looking.
Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec 22): “Hand down we like, we like what we like. Hands down we like, we love, we choose you. We got an eye, an eye for what’s romance. We’ve got our eyes, our eyes trained on you…We love the sound, the sound is what found us, sound is the blood between me and you.” (Wild Flag, Romance)
Capricorn (Dec. 23-Jan. 20): Meditate on Carrie Brownstein’s voice this week. Listen to Sleater-Kinney and let it sandpaper out your insides, screech your soul clean. That reminds the stars, we need to get Wild Flag tickets.
Aquarius (Jan 21-Feb. 19): To the Aquarius starting a new job this week: may the sun shine through the front window in welcome. May you get in many pleasant side-conversations with co-workers. May you never forget your morning coffee at home. Most importantly, may you still have time for parties.