Poetic License Horoscopes for July 13 – 19

By Jane Cassady (Check out For the Comfort of Automated Phrases!):

Cancer (June 22-July 23): “All I ever knew is like a little mouse living in a tiny hole in a palace I have become.” (Hafiz) While you’re busy being expansive, take time to celebrate the way you used to be, which was also amazing. Bake a birthday cake for your former self, with big blue icing flowers.

Leo (July 24-Aug. 23): You never really know how much you’re loved, how precious you are to the people in your life. Look for signs of it—the special groceries, the firefly walks, the silly love-music that gets stuck in your head. 

Virgo (Aug. 24-Sept. 23): “Before you came into my life, I missed you so bad.” (Carly Rae Jepsen) You have always contained at least as much longing as a song-of-the-summer, probably more. But today, take stock of all the many people you have wished for who subsequently arrived. The other missing magic puzzle pieces are on their way—just open your arms and let them come to you.

Libra (Sept. 24-Oct. 21): “I feel so grateful for every challenge I’ve encountered, as it’s now clear that they were all stepping stones leading to the present moment, which is so full of joy and beauty that I feel I could do ANYTHING with the rest of my life & feel satisfied that my time on this planet was worthwhile. Dear G-d, I sincerely hope that, at some point, each and every person I know experiences the happiness that I am experiencing right now.” (Sam Richman, after gender-affirming surgery.) Be like Sam.

Scorpio (Oct. 22-Nov. 22): The stars miss you every time we see junky special effects in old movies; it’s such a comforting thing to see. Hope all of your quests are being fulfilled, and your life is warm and full of sun.

Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 22): To the Sagittarius who says she wishes she could just like one or the other, men or women. Erroneous binary aside, there’s so little space in this world for us, few heroes or role models. We have to make up our own way to do this. Don’t accept the arbitrary limitations that are placed on us by those with limited imaginations. 

Capricorn (Dec. 23-Jan. 20): I recently started rewatching Angel. I don’t think that I even knew before that my favorite vampire-with-soul started his detective agency in order to connect more deeply to humans and be therefore less likely to want to eat them. It isn’t quite so dire for you, but do find some new ways to genuinely reach out.

Aquarius (Jan. 21-Feb. 19): To the Aquarius planning a ladies’ weekend—may there be feather boas and dancing on banquettes, delirious running-into-the-surf, maybe a Gilmore Girls marathon. Have all the fun in the world and find your inner Lorelais.

Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20):  To the Pisces who listened to me when I was lost—I’m still lost, but thank you for taking care of me, hearing my side of things, wanting my real happiness. You’re a good ear and a magic friendship, and your life will be full of glittery adventure.

Aries (March 21-April 18): Buy two sheets of stickers, one unicorns, one rainbows. Give them to yourself whenever you take a heart-risk, whenever you live in the delightful prism-y spectrums of life, whenever you move this way or that along the Kinsey scale. It’s important to reward yourself for being so brave.

Taurus (April 19-May 18): I heard Die Antword’s “Baby’s On Fire” and had trouble not emailing it to you. Whatever’s not working for you, it’s time to burn it or dance it off. Stop struggling, unless you like that sort of thing. Not everything needs to be changed. Lay back and float on the surface of life like you do sometimes at the swimming poll. Look at the clouds.

Gemini (May 19-June 21): “Apparently I like ripping the Band-Aid off slowly and repeatedly.” (My brother, Ed Wiedmann) Yep, it’s hard to let things go, especially people, who tend to have a lot of adhesive. But it’s okay, keep trying. 

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